It was a beautiful Monday morning, Christmas day year 2000. The sun was rising and the darkness of the night gave way to the vibrant, beautiful colors of the beach and ocean in Fortaleza, Brazil. While the northern hemisphere lay under frosting snow and ice, we had a pleasant 70 degree weather at 6 in the morning. This was heaven. It helped that we were alone, and that my girl had answered “yes” to the most daunting question I had ever asked anyone. Now, 20 minutes after that magical moment, sitting there on the warm white sand, I was embracing everything I thought was beautiful.
Our journey had taken us there, and our dreams and goals were the antidote to any obstacle we thought could ever get in our way. This was the incredible moment in which we thought life is worth living. The most amazing thrill had been to experience new sensations and feeling buried underneath our inexperience. Nothing could destroy this moment, embedded in the memories we were now writing to our posterity to see. Life has a way of teaching us lessons, even when we think we are not ready to learn them. Our mystical world of fantasy and sparkling dreamy reality was suddenly interrupted by what fate would call it, the eye opening experience of my young life. We were not as alone as we thought.
In the midst of our conversation, a visitor watched from afar. I noticed him walk in the distance as if he was going away. He suddenly changed his course and as if he changed his mind, he walked the other way, all in front of us. I had the feeling we had to leave, but by then our visitor headed our direction. He was short and skinny, with the built of someone perhaps half my age. He was scruffy looking, as if he had just awakened from a long nap. I had the impression that was the way he always looked. He did not smile. He had no happiness in him. His face was pale, unlike his darker complexion. His hair was curly, his eyes were dark. He was barefoot, and his feet were dirty. He was alone, but not only because he was the only one there. I felt as if he had no friends. There was emptiness about him, a lack of direction and emotion.
I was awakened from my paradisiacal stage, by the image of a kid carrying a gun. It was like a cold bath in a winter night. My mind raced through all the aspects of what I was witnessing and I thought: “this was not supposed to happen.” We were supposed to kiss under the sun, drink our coconut milk, and live happily ever after. Instead, there was a kid, a frightened kid, pretending to know what he was doing. The initial exchange of words was a mere formality to what was obvious to be the case: “this is a stick up,” he said. As if there was any doubt left on what was going on, I was now sure we would either have an awesome story to tell, or we would be dead any minute now. The girl sitting next to me was probably wondering what she got herself into. She did not speak any Portuguese, but the image of someone carrying a gun requires no translation.
Our inexperienced young visitor was now shaking, perhaps by the realization that not all risks are worth the reward. The outcome of our meeting was up for grabs at this point, and different than I thought it would be, he did not take control of the situation. I quickly analyzed his strength, and thought I could easily overtake him. I looked at the gun, now partially put away, and thought I could be faster than him. It was one of those 10 seconds that lasts 10 minutes. Strategy, planning and execution were never as important as they were at this point in my life. He made his move, now I had to make mine.
Negotiation had never been one of my strengths. I could see our visitor grew impatient and nervous exponentially. I tried the first thing that came to my mind: I introduced myself to him. “Hi, my name is Pablo, what is your name?” To my astonishment he answered and said: “my name is Fernando.” Good! It did not fell like were buddies yet, but we were talking. I said: “today is Christmas day, did you know?” He answered and said, with his head bowing: “Yes I know.” I then said: “You interrupted a very special moment, and my girlfriend is frightened.” He said: “I’m very sorry.” I then asked: “Do you know what you’re doing is wrong? He answered and said: “Yes sir, I’m just hungry.” I said: “Fernando, here is the deal. There is no need for you to hurt us. I will give you some money, but you have to promise you will go away and not harm us.” Fernando responded: “I will.” After I gave him a little money, Fernando ran away and we never saw him again.
Many years have passed since that one Christmas morning when we met Fernando. It’s a funny story to tell friends. It wasn’t funny as it happened. I learned an important lesson that day. I learned about the power of negotiation, and how two parties can achieve an agreement that is most beneficial to them. As the sun rose in the horizon and our dreams were quickly vanishing with the prospect of the worst, I understood that Fernando had a need that I could meet. In other situations I experienced we could not reach an agreement. This has also been part of my learning process. I often think about Fernando, and what may have happened to him. I hope he learned the art of negotiation as much as I did. I hope he learned that sometimes the reward is not worth the risk.
